Take Even More Time for Yourself

You need to learn to take even more time for yourself. It is so easy to fall into the habit
of gearing your whole life and all your energies to your children. While they
certainly should be the primary focus of your attention, they shouldn’t be your
only focus. That is not healthy for you or your children.

Make sure you arrange your schedule so you can take even more time for yourself each day and each week. This is especially true when you are a single parent. If you don’t make time for yourself, you would be exhausted, resentful, and unable to provide
clear guidance and directions for your children. You have to learn to take care
of yourself in order to be able to care happily for the rest of your family.

Schedule time for yourself from the very beginning. Sit down each week with your calendar and figure out when you can take some for yourself and write it in on the calendar.

Schedule your time off at the same each day and each week so you get into the habit of it.

Don’t underestimate benefits you can get from taking even five minutes several times a day to stop and rest. Deep, deep, deep breathing for a couple of minutes helps too, as a step into the sunshine for a bit and simply basking in the light and fresh air.

Use the quiet period at the end of the day after the rest of the family has gone to bed to relax, listen to some soft music, and slowly wind down.

If you are a morning person, get up earlier in the morning before everyone else in the house — having even a half an hour to drink a cup of tea in solitude will make a
difference.

Take some of your quiet time to figure out what you have been missing: reading, napping, taking a walk, exercising, or visiting with a friend and make the adjustments.

Making even more time for and taking care of yourself is not only important for your own health and self-esteem, it is also an important example to set for your children.

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How Your Child Can Become an Exceptional Student

In their book, Pygmalion in the Classroom, psychiatrists Robert Rosenthal and school principal Lenora Jacobson describe a study they did involving children from kindergarten through fifth grade. They told the children’s teachers which students in their classrooms had “exceptional learning abilities.”

But the teachers did not know that the researchers had chosen these “exceptional” students at random. When the students were tested at the end of the school year, the students who the teachers had been led to believe had exceptional learning abilities had made much greater academic progress than their peers. In essence, the teachers had been programmed to expect more from certain students, and these students thus expected more of themselves and delivered.

The message here for teachers is that you get what you expect. Expect the best from your students and you’ll get the best. And, above all praise the efforts. the results will come.

Constructive Criticism: Pointing Out Your Children’s Mistakes

There are times when you have to point out your children’s mistakes and teach your children how to learn from them. However, some children at certain stages are very sensitive to criticism.

Here, I’m going to offer an example of  constructive criticism that you can try right away regardless of the stage of your child’s development. Try sandwiching the bad news between layers of encouraging words: “William, you’re a smart boy. We know, and you know, that you can make good grades. And, you’re not lazy. We don’t expect this D in Spelling to continue. We know you have the ability to do better. How do you feel about the D? … I’m sure you’ll feel a lot better next semester when you pull up that grade.”

Sandwiching constructive criticism between compliments is a valuable communication tool to use with adults as well. It makes the listener more receptive to your criticism. In fact, the conversation may be perceived more as encouragement than as a put-down. And it achieves the results you want — that the child do his best and achieve the grades he’s capable of.

A few more words about encouragement. Encouragement means giving your children the confidence they need to be all that they can be. It means helping your children have the courage to try, to believe that “I can do it.” Encouragement is more than just praise, which is acknowledging something a child does, it is helping your children to keep working at  something and to stay involved in the process of learning and trying. Children thrive on encouragement — messages that tell them they can be all that they can be and that help them to recognize their progress and potential.

A Forgotten Way to Build a Child’s Self-Esteem

Over and over again, I’ve noticed what is called the Carryover Principle. When a child excels at one special thing, the boost to his self-esteem carries over into other endeavors. For example, if your child is doing poorly academically, discover … Continue reading →

The Secret of School Success, Part 2

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Its all attitude

Another important feature that sets academic high achievers apart is their attitude toward learning. Rather than viewing learning as a navigational tool, they love to learn because of the feeling of self satisfaction it gives them. They view school as a privilege rather than a problem. These children who achieve academic success look forward to the opportunity to shine on tests. They make a connection between hard work and good grades, and see themselves succeeding.

It’s all in the family

Academic high achievers love of learning is most influenced by putting a high value on learning. Research shows that the homes of these children tend to be quieter with no blasting of TV or stereo. Noise gets in the way of learning. Children reared in a noisy home are slower to develop language and cognitive skills. Students tend to achieve better in school when family life is harmonious. You may not think of your marriage as a tool for your child’s academic success, but studies show that children who perceive harmony and commitment between their parents feel less anxious and more grounded – – freeing them up to do better at school. Academic outcome studies have also shown that students who eat meals with their families more often enjoy greater academic success.

Visit Your Consultant Site and download the free e-book, Tutoring Tips.

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The Secret of School Success, Part 1

Why do some students succeed in school and others struggle?

The answer lies in the student’s attitude towards learning both at home and school. Learning begins at home and parents are a child’s first teachers. In one sense all children are home schooled, even those who attend school. Here’s a summary what parents and other educators can do to help children become academic achievers.

Implant a love of learning.
Not surprisingly, research shows little correlation between IQ, economic status, a privileged childhood, or even preschool and later academic success. The most influential factor in children’s academic success was parents who instill the love of learning early on. Learning is rooted in curiosity. Kids are naturally curious and from early infancy onward, parents, as teachers, act as facilitators, guiding those curious, exploring hands and eyes towards interesting objects. This doesn’t necessarily mean lots of educational toys. Babies learn a lot riding in a baby sling, where they can be in all of the conversations and see the world near adult eye level. Learning tools for toddlers can be as simple as a kitchen drawer or cupboard for the pots and pans, paper towel rolls, and plastic dishes that the child is allowed to play with. Basic balls and blocks are also great toys stimulating and satisfying curiosity.

Foster free play.
Let children play, for this is how they learn. While one-on-one time with parent and or other sensitive and responsive caregivers is certainly important to facilitate early learning, be sure to give your toddler and child ample time alone to simply mess around with toys and safely explore the environment. Preschool children do not need to have every minute of the day filled with one planed activity or lesson after another. Childproof your home and allow your child to take reasonable risks. Don’t constantly supervise your child by adult warnings such as “Be careful” and “Don’t Touch.” Learning usually involve some risk-taking.

Visit  www.yourconsultantsite.com and download the free e-book, Tutoring Tips.

The next post will be Part 2.

Let me have your comments.

For All Single Parents – Twelve Cures for Loneliness and Depression

Loneliness can sometimes lead to depression. Even in a large city filled with thousands of people, feelings of loneliness can sometimes flood the spirit. Here are twelve cures for loneliness and depression:
1. Spend an evening with a new and exciting book.
2. Write to some friends in distant states or countries.
3. Go through your attic, closet or storage space. You’ll find all kinds of forgotten treasures.
4. Regular physical activity, especially walking and jogging, is often a sure cure.
5. Make plans for the next party or get-together with neighbors or friends.
6. Start a brand-new hobby—something you’ve always wanted to do, make, or study.
7. Decide on some sideline business you might be interested in and could devote time to on weekends or evenings during the week.
8. Make a list of what you would like to accomplish during the next three months.
9. Plan where you’ll go on your next vacation and start collecting travel brochures on it.
10. Go to a concert or lecture on a subject that interests you.
11. Browse for a few hours in a good bookstore.
12. Create a story. Everyone has one story worth telling.

Give me your comments on these twelve cures and let me know what yours are.

Nine More Easy Ways to Take Time for Yourself

Here are Nine More Easy Ways to Take Time for Yourself
1. Don’t wait for a certain time to be happy, or until you have obtained something you want. Be happy today while you can.
2. Strive to discover your true talents and abilities. Then develop them as much as possible.
3. Happiness comes from within. It is a learned habit of enjoying not necessarily the big thing of life, but all of the little things.
4. Take the time to do those things you feel are important to you.
5. Don’t live in the past or in the future. Be as happy as you can each day.
6. Whenever you are disappointed about something, flash your mind back to those times and occasions when you were victorious.
7. Listen to the signals of your body. When your body tires, it lets you know it with a variety of clues. Delaying the rest you need, may bring on an illness.
8. Study how others have found the time to do a lot and achieve a great deal.
9. Check into the flea markets in your area. They are relaxing, fun, and informative.

Your Thoughts?

Nine Easy Ways to Take Time for Yourself

You need to take time for your self. Here are nine easy ways to do it:

1. Allow yourself some private time each day, even if it’s only for a half hour.
2. Turn off the phone, allow your answer machine to pick up your calls.
3. Put on your favorite music, turn it up and if you feel like dancing, dance.
4. Call your best friend and settle in with a hot cup of tea for good long talk.
5. Relax in bed with a good book.
6. Sink into your tub for a long, luxurious soak at the end of the day.
7. Snack on your favorite “comfort food”.
8. Visit your favorite bookstore (the one with comfortable chairs in the coffee shop) and spend the afternoon.
9. During the summer, or if you are fortunate to be where summer is year around, go to the beach, delight and bask in the warm rays of the sun.

Leave your comments. Let me know what you think and what ways you take time out for yourself.

Making Decisions 100% of the Time

As a single parent you have to make decisions 100% of the time. Whether you recently became a single parent or not, that responsibility falls solely on your shoulders. However, this should not have to be a disturbing situation.

I realize that if you were formerly married a significant number of years, you would have gotten used to having someone around talk with. Now, since that’s no longer the case, when you are confronted with a major decision, here’s what you need to do:

Think the alternatives all the way through, then choose the best one.
Visualize the outcome from this choice.
Think back through the steps needed to be taken to realize the outcome, then begin acting upon these steps.
Do this with any major decision.

Remember once you feel comfortable with the outcome you visualize and begin to act, everything will fall into place.

Your Thoughts?